I am safe. I am safe to be seen.
These are the phrases that I am repeating in my head as I write today.
For the past eight days, I have been butting up against “It is not safe to be seen” this little thing that I learned from being the target of jokes in elementary school because I was different and then reinforced by my family in the guise of meaning well.
Lots of us have been here. It could have been our weight (in my case), color of our hair, awkwardness, sexual orientation, really, anything that made us other.
This being such a deep-seated feeling, this not being safe, it isn’t surprising that it has been a recurring theme in my life. This last time really felt as though it came out of left field (though as I typed that… don’t the triggers always feel like that; always coming when you least expect them?). And it focused on how I am writing about certain topics here not the writing itself. The writing criticism actually happened a year ago which basically put a kibosh on my blog for the rest of the year and the newsletter I send to clients.
At the time, I blamed not having time between my full-time job, seeing clients, mentoring, and online classes. Now, however, I realize that I stopped writing because I didn’t want to be seen because when I am seen I am not safe.
Last week brought me face to face with little elementary school Suzanne and I got to hug her and tell her it was going to be okay. That she was safe. That it was safe to be seen. And, in so doing, a self-induced soul retrieval occurred in which a crystal container opened the length of my major chakras with my 3rd chakra, that place of personal power, feeling open for the first time in my adult life.
It was in the face of this perceived criticism and truly wanting to shrink away that I instead wrote a blog post about folks speaking their personal truth and being fully seen that got more traction than anything I have written thus far, created and mailed an exclusive gift for the Be Your Own Guru program full of magic, and launched the beta session of the Luminosity Mentoring Program.
And guess what? I am safe to be seen.
Where in your life do you not feel safe to be seen? What have you been putting off doing?
I had put off writing for a year when the thing I deeply crave is connection and engagement. My life feels much more whole when I am writing. Magical.
Until next week…